Gary, you mentioned holidays to experiance the culture (and the beer)...

There's an advertisement on TV here at the moment. This young bloke rocks up to a party. He steps in through the door, "Who do I have to root, to get a drink 'round here?" The crowd parts, there behind is Grandma in the wheelchair, smile on her face, as She gives him a little wave.

this is what happens when u populate a country with English criminals and Scottish missionaries i guess

in an attempt at balance i have a Scottish joke for u, altho its more anti English than a jibe at the scots. its one of my favs tho and i think u might like it.

a Scotsman and Englishman and Elle Macpherson are sitting in the same compartment of an old fashioned compartment train. as they go on their journey the train enters a longish tunnel. being that its an old train, it gets really dark while it is in the tunnel. during the darkness a kissing sound is heard followed by a loud slapping sound.
as the train leaves the tunnel into the light of day Elle looks at the Englishmans red face and thinks to herself, the Englishman must have tried to kiss me but kissed the Scotsman by mistake and got a slap for it. the Englishman looks at the Scotsman and thinks he must have kissed Elle and she went to slap him but hit me instead. the Scotsman is sitting smiling to himself and thinking this is effing great, the next time we go thru a tunnel i'll make that kissing sound again and slap that English b*****d again.

There was this Penguin on a motorcycle tour of Scotland. And he's zooming along the road, when his bike shudders, and oil begins squirting out everywhere. 'Crap!' thinks the Penquin. When just then, another Motorcyclist pulls up. 'Aye Laddie, what seems to be the problem?'. 'I don't know', replies the Penguin. 'Well, if you like, I'll take a look at the wee beastie for ya', says the Scotsman.

The Penguin thinks this is pretty nifty, but being an unusually hot Scottish day, he wants something to cool down. So he waddles off down the road for a bit, and finds a Milk Bar. Nip's inside and buys himself an Ice-Cream, 'Eskimo-pie', his favourite. The penguin gets right into it, tears off the wrapper, and sinks his beak right in the middle, between the wafers, Ice-Cream all over his face. 'Uuuh, that did the trick!', he thinks.

Anyway, now that the Penguin's cooled down, it's about time to get back to the bike. So the Penguin waddles back up the road, and eventually reachs his bike, the Scotsman still leaning over it. He looks up as the Penguin approaches, 'Aye Laddie, it looks like you've blown a Seal!'. 'No', replies the Penguin, 'I've just had an Ice-Cream.'

For those of you who disapprove of recent

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Our Government has seen sense, and have had the word 'Bloody' removed.

We used to have a comedian down here by the name of Rodney Rude. Anyone heard of him ?

No mate cant say i have, about the only one that springs to mind straight away is kevin "bloody" wilson

This bloke's much better !

I'll see if I can find some MP3's...

I shall wait hopefully not to long, so good hunting. Mind you am still waiting for the pics of the plecs in the chook shop

Still waiting

I don't care what anyone says about who colonized the country. Hell, the USA was colonized by a bunch of people who came in & wiped out the native people. Most countries have ugly/bloody roots.

My wife & I still think what we've seen of Austrailian culture is neat stuff. We'd love to come some day.

Geez, that almost sounds like you're peeved about something... ?

Interesting, the same bunch of people who colonized the USA, which included wiping out the natives, were the same bunch who did it here, not long after.

Although, I must admit, your's were a tad more 'upper class' than ours.

Yea but all yours were hand picked

And this is what ?

It didn't work ?