Greetings from - , well, I’d say sunny, as the Smog is a rather lighter tone today, indicating there is actually some sunlight up there, - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Just popped over to visit the Folks. Humidity as always, is right up there. I don’t have a precise figure, but in between me and what extremely little clothing I wear, it’s about 100% ! Having a miserable time, wish you were here ! (hem hem).
Anyhow, I thought I should at least look in on the local trade over here. Arrowana’s, and Goldfish seem to be the go. I will upload some pics when I return to the realms of virtuality.
But here you can see one on the local Freshwater Fishes Collectors in the trade. They have the collection process down to a fine art. These blokes all use trained monkeys to help out with the fish collection. Breeding is carried out in the natural stream-ways of Kalang, due to the end-user preference for a pure organic product, without artificial encouragement, steroids, chemicals, or genetic manipulation.
They have installed little pathways along the streams, all nicely laid-out, split level, little ferns and stuff. The monkeys peddle a bicycle along these paths, while the bloke on the lower path, keeps on eye out for likely candidates swimming by in the stream.
Of interest, is the bicycle. Actually a recent, and significant technological innovation to the Malaysian Freshwater Fishes industry. This being brought about when FFUK-EM (the Freshwater Fish Union of Kalang – Employed Monkeys sub-division), insisted that riding a unicycle was demeaning, and that they saw no need to portray themselves as a circus clown, or some other act to entertain tourists.
Likewise, the Collectors had to relinquish the use of such traditional tools, such as nets, electrical stunners, and light industrial explosives. This contentious issue being attributable to a printing error in an Act passed by Parliament that was originally intended for the Department of Prisons and Child-care. An enquiry into the matter, concluded that the Stenographer, having selected the fish that day rather than the chicken, for her Daughters lunch at the day-care centre, had made a Freudian slip in that days note-taking.
Of course, both the Fish Collectors, and Prison Guards Unions are outraged. The Child Carers are happy to carry on as usual, and a representative of the Feral Poultry Industry stated “Good thing that kid didn’t get chicken, it’d be murder out there.” This being a reflection on the Fishes Collectors now being legally obliged to dive in and tackle their catch by hand, until the next sitting of Parliament.
Back to Fishes collecting. Attached to the bike are several coconuts. These have been a boon to the Industry due to their low cost over other methods of environment controlled transportation. That, and they provide a tasty treat for both the monkey, and his assistant. As coconuts literally ‘fall from the sky’, the Fishes Collection Industry was able to do away with subsidised meals, making substantial savings, this being realised by the end-user in the form of lower purchase values.
More pics to follow. All the best to you all !
Regards, Kana.
Having an extremely sweaty time, wish you were here !!
After the successful launch of the Malaysian communications satellite, MEASAT-3, in early December, for you Techno-bods, I took note of some other elements of the Malaysian Space Program.
On the flipside side of this postcard, you can see the result of one of Malaysia’s early delving into the realm of space travel. Now known as Kuala Lumpur Tower, this craft was subject to ‘Golden Arch’ syndrome. This term reflects the flight pattern following a bad launch, whereby the spacecraft immediately upon take-off, begins to lisp until it is directed back toward the ground. On impact it reassumes flight, albeit in a reverse direction, arching again, eventually coming to rest right way up. You can see in the image the damage from the first impact, where the upper body of the craft has been compacted.
Funding shortages at the time prevented the space program from being able to remove the remains of the craft from where it came to rest, however an innovative decision was made to leave it as is. Subsequently a few hardy whacks brought it into square, a warning beacon was attached above, and the entire structure was converted into a popular tourist attraction including an observation deck, and revolving restaurant. An added bonus being the ongoing revenue was directed back into the space program.
It probably should be mentioned that ‘Golden Arch’ syndrome was not derived from a popular brand of burger, with the tenuous reference to ‘spammed meat’, but actually comes direct from Scotland. Argus McDonald (no relation), famous tosser of Cabers, perfected the technique of a double bounce end to end, in 1952 when the event was held, for the first time in conjunction with the Celtic Sabre Trampolining Championships, winning many of the coveted ‘Golden Cabers’. Sadly, a trampoline sabre recoiled from one of those tosses, and Argus was impaled and pinned to the caber of his opponent.
With a brilliant toss aided by a freak gust of wind, the caber balanced by Argus sporting traditional highland dress, came to rest perfectly upright, and inverted, in the middle of the Flower Show, held nearby by the local ‘Ladies Club’. Although quite a strong fellow, Argus was no spring chicken. Subsequently, he was posthumously awarded first prize for the best dried arrangement.
The center image depicts the Sultan Abdul Samad Mission Control Centre. A significantly historical building, in that it is the only space centre world-wide, still operating on spring driven analog time. You can see here the clock tower, which houses the largest pendulum in Malaysia. The pendulum is entirely hand-crafted from copper in an Arabic style, as is the external tower dome from which it is suspended.
Rumour has it, that the clock tower is haunted, as over the years many Clock Keepers have mysteriously vanished, assumed to have been frightened away by the same phantom that leaves un-explained deposits of ash, on the floor beneath the pendulum.
The clock itself doesn’t actually keep time, and must be adjusted manually by hand from the outside (once each for the four sides of the tower). The time setting has great significance, as it displays the next available launch window, which coincidentally coincides with the end of the Monsoon season. In this case, it is three past three, Thursday afternoon, about seven weeks hence.
The changing of the time is done with great ceremony, as the Clock Keeper emerges from the tower in time honoured tradition, carrying the ceremonial extendable ladder. No-one in living memory actually knows when the towers staircase ceased functioning, but many theorise that integral sections of the staircases’ stone workings may have been pilfered by Afonso de Albuquerque, and then traded to the Chinese, in exchange for services rendered in the attack upon Malacca in1511.
This is said to be the source of the stone used in the very rare and highly coveted stone Mah-Jong tiles. The time line is sketchy, as it seems the Mah-Jong tiles were in turn stolen by the Sultan in his escape from Malacca, and this accounts for the current possession of many of the pieces by the current Yang di-Pertuan Agong (King) of Malaysia (proclaimed December 2006), as the pieces are passed with the trappings of the Kingship. An avid collector of antiquities, the King is keen to locate enough of the tiles to complete a hand before his term is complete.
The last photo is the current entry in Malaysia’s space race. The Petronas Twin Shuttle. Not wishing to duplicate some of the disasters of the NASA shuttle program, this new shuttle system has 100% redundancy. Both the port and starboard sections of the shuttle can operate in a fully autonomous manner, in the event of an emergency. The shuttle crew from the afflicted part of the craft can traverse the innovative ‘sky-bridge’, to the safety of the ‘twin’ section.
Another clever feature of the Petronas shuttle, is the addition of two huge lightning rods at the pinnacle of the shuttles nose’s. Tapping into the regularity of electrical storms in the region, these provide a cheap method of collecting electrical energy to store within the huge ‘R’ size battery cells within the shuttle. And as they’re rechargeable, you can get a much longer overall battery life, than say you would with the regular variety of space shuttle battery. Therefore costs have been cut on two fronts (or four, if you count the ‘twin’ !).
Quite a feat of engineering, the Twin Shuttle was the tallest man-made structure for several months, until heated argument broke out with Guinness over wether a craft that flies could really be classed as a free-standing structure. When a representative of Guinness through the aid of a translator, was finally able to point out that this was in fact a brewery, they all had a good laugh, downed a few, laughed some more, and staggered over to Drummond Street. However, by that time, someone else had built a taller structure, so they all went home.
As did I.
Regards,
Kana.